*The topic for this blogpost is an ongoing one as I feel like I can write more on it. It's not a finished or wellpolished thought, but its here.*
an Allison post
In a previous blogpost entitled Sore bodies, I included a detail about the only people playing volleyball on the court were mostly men, a lot of foreign men and no women. I thought it was strange and relevant to some things I've especially had to work recently.
This month, there have been many instances where I've had to challenge myself to name my own prejudices and also where I've been challenged offensively by the prejudices of other individuals, mostly concerning women.
There are a lot of refugees here, many who identify as muslims. I admit that whenever I see a woman wearing a hijab and cloak walking down the street, I have an influx of complicated feelings: curiosity, irritation, sympathy, and anger all stirred up. I'm ignorant about what it fully means to be a muslim, let alone a muslim woman. I've made assumptions about these women just by their appearances asking "Are they afraid to show their beauty", and "Why don't these men have as pressing restrictions on concealing themselves", and "Why do these women let men tell them what their freedom looks like". I DO realize that that those are audacious questions to ask without knowing person. Just as much as I think that I'm fighting in my brain for these women's voices, I also take it away from them with my unsupported judgement. Cultural differences and contrasting beliefs can be really difficult to navigate, and even more difficult if we don't know how to combine closed lips and open ears to at least hear the stories and perspectives of others.
I spent some time kicking this ball around with Jeremiah, some other friends and then myself. Didn't come to any earthshattering conclusions beside the idea that I needed to pray on it and ask for some serious understanding and sensitivity as I processed this. I thought maybe this area of culture and openness in relationships was a part of journey this month as spent more time with people. I was more right than I had hoped about this as I've painfully walked through some hard conversations and experiences. I couldn't believe how frequently I was offended on multiple occasions ranging from words to physical opposition rooted in inferiority and disempowerment.
I don't believe they were scenarios sent from God, but I do believe I've harvested some serious good fruit as I journey on, gaining more confidence in my identity as women of color and advocating for confidence and empowerment in other women. I've learned again and again that there is power in being who I am, present and honest just as I am before God. I think i've gained compassion for the women who who do wear a hijab, for people and ways that I don't understand. But I have also gained a boldness to be present and aware, honest wherever I am. I'm conditioned out of indifference and inferiority to ask my questions which I think is better at least coupled with my ignorance. That's a humble start.
No comments:
Post a Comment